The Art of Being Alone - 2009

tonight i wanted to tell you how recently i've been trying to stop time before it stops me
but you're not here in the soft april cold where i am.
i shouldn't be shivering because there are people and loud lights and bright music but i am because i don't know anything here without you
because the only words i have now are the ones i stole from your mouth
and now i know i never wanted the world until you said you'd give it to me
but the world got gone and i realize i don't know how to be this alone anymore.
he asks with the sad part of his voice and the scar on his knee
and i tell him what it's like to stand on a dark bridge in a coat that's too thin with tears that hit like hail waiting for someone to fucking love you
so he tries to hold me like you did but it isn't quite the same.
the air smells like rain that just won't fall so i ask him if i can love him and he doesn't have to love me back because i know that sometimes it's too lonely to sit beside a person when you want them to always be there
and you know they won't
so i grab him by both arms and the look in his eyes and i beg him to take me somewhere i've never been to tell me his name to let me hold him tonight.